I Stole

[therubeagain]

(i hope that you allow this post to remain,
& i hope that you do not take it the wrong
way)


i stole

no excuses

i am truly sorry

i wish to make amends, but i feel no matter
what i could do, it would not be enough

---

i am a "good" person
certainly not perfect
i know right from wrong
i try to do what is right
in this case i certainly did wrong
no reason, it just happened
& then it persisted

i feel terrible

i did not always feel terrible
until yesterday i felt fine (*)
but that is until i realized what my actions had done

i failed Altap, Jan & Petr, & all the developers
i failed the Altap community
& i failed myself

i have not eaten
i could not sleep
i have not done my normal activities
yesterday was a beautiful day, but i was blue
i cannot get this out of my mind

a million & one thoughts have gone through my mind
& what i post here is just a smattering

do not feel sorry for me
this is my own doing

on my way to work this morning it dawned on
me that i too have been stolen from, & it is
not the object that was taken that matters, it
was the fact that the object was taken

& no amount of reparation can change that

the loss of trust is immeasurable

looking forward, i certainly have learned from
this, & look to better myself, & those i come into
contact with

i harbor no ill feelings & wish you all only the best

there are a great bunch of people here
sorry to have screwed it up

my point in writing this is to hopefully help
others who may have walked the same path

thank you for allow me to post this

therube


(*) do not take that the wrong way
i am not gloating
i am just pointing out what i did, while wrong, & while knowingly wrong
did not "hit" me as being wrong, until now
i will assume others could be in similar situations

(please excuse the way i've written this, but it's the way it came out.)

[Jan Rysavy]

I'm sorry for your accidentally deleted account, please see http://forum.altap.cz/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=5520 for more details.

Your old account and all posts are restored. I must adjust my spam-cleaning workflow to prevent such mistake.